Self-guided Afterlife
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Our Loved Ones Are Fine and Available

This explanation will help you understand that

  1. Your loved ones are happy and well, living on the next plane of life.
  2. Your loved ones are available to communicate with you.

The author: R. Craig Hogan, Ph.D.

Everything you read on these pages comes from the study of a wide range of factual sources. Most of these sources are people living on the next planes of life speaking through mediums. To be accepted as fact, what these people say through the mediums must then be corroborated by other people who are saying the same thing. None of what you read here is based on the author's intuition or supposition. It is all based on the study of many reports given by many people on the other side of life through mediums. The author is R. Craig Hogan, Ph.D.

Dr. Hogan is the author of Your Eternal Self, presenting the scientific evidence that the mind is not confined to the brain, the afterlife is a reality, people’s minds are linked, and the mind affects the physical world. The book is hailed as “number one from the standpoint of offering the reader the full gamut of phenomena supporting the survival hypothesis in clear and concise language” (Michael Tymn, managing editor, The Searchlight) and “an eye-opening look at the pseudo natural and everything related to the human mind—highly recommended for anyone into the science beyond the mundane world” (“Reviewer’s Choice,” Midwest Book Review, June 2008).

Dr. Hogan co-authored Induced After-Death Communication: A New Therapy for Healing Grief and Trauma with Allan Botkin, Psy.D. and Guided Afterlife Connections: They Come to Change Lives with Rochelle Wright, M.S. He is author of “Applying the Science of the Afterlife” in the Journal of Spirituality and Paranormal Studies, and is on the boards of the Academy of Spiritual and Consciousness Studies, Association for Evaluation and Communication of Evidence for Survival, and the American Society for Standards in Mediumship and Psychical Investigation.

Dr. Hogan co-authored the Personal Styles Inventory, based on Carl Jung’s work, wrote two books on business writing, co-authored a book training supervisors in schools to more effectively work with teachers, and developed several Web sites devoted to business writing and spiritual understanding.

He has been a professor of business communications at three universities, curriculum and training administrator at two universities and a medical school, and director of his own online business writing school, The Business Writing Center.

 
Your loved ones are happy and well,
living on the next plane of life

The most important issue for most people, of course, is whether their loved ones who have passed away are all right. I can tell you with great assurance that they’re fine—in fact, they’re joyous. Everyone who speaks from the afterlife describes their happiness at being without worries, healthy, feeling light as a feather, with a young body that has no aches and pains. They’re delighted. The exception is that they grieve when we grieve, and feel sad at the change in ability to communicate. Some may be remorseful if they have wronged someone. But they're working through those feelings and their love is amplified.

As to why they don’t communicate with you often or at all, one reason is that it is difficult for them to communicate with us. It isn't something they can do easily, and just as few people on our side of life are mediums who can communicate with them on their side of life, most people on the next planes of life aren't adept at getting through to us. They do register our thoughts, but may not be able to communicate back easily or at all.

To understand what it's like for them to try to communicate to you, try this little experiment. We know from the research done by Rupert Sheldrake and others that people do have a sense of being stared at. People subtly know when someone is looking at them. The next time you're in a line of people waiting for something, pick someone close to you, ahead of you in line, who is not preoccupied and not next in line to get to the clerk. They're just standing idly. Focus on their neck and imagine tickling them on the neck. After a few seconds, some people will turn around and look back, and even brush their necks. They don't know why, though. The message came through to their minds at a very subtle or subconscious level, but they don't get the clear message that you're imagining tickling their necks. They won't turn around and say, "Why are you imagining tickling my neck?" The message is there, because they respond to it, but it doesn't rise to the level of their conscious awareness.

That's what it's like for your loved one trying to communicate with you. They can communicate through thoughts, mind to mind. They do focus on your mind and try to get a message through, but the subtle messages don't rise to the level that we can become conscious of them. We're just too preoccupied with life to quiet ourselves and let the thought message come up from the subconscious into our conscious mind.

At times, you'll suddenly have a memory, perhaps something you hadn't thought of for years. That's your mind connecting with their mind. They're thinking of that memory, or they're focusing on you and sending that memory to you. Thank them for it and let the love you feel pour over you. It's them communicating mind to mind.

You may see a time or series of numbers often. Or you may see their name appear on license plates or television programs. Usually, they are with you at that time, focusing on you to look at the clock or notice the numbers on a license plate or turn on the television and see the commercial with their name in it. They haven't created the license plate or television program. They knew it would be available and inspire you to attend to it. However, at other times, they seem to be permitted to make electrical devices function strangely or butterflies come around or coins appear, and so on. We don't know how they do that or why they're assisted in doing that from the other side, but the signs are certainly from them.

Nearly all of the communication from our loved ones on the next plane of life, from our guides, and from the Source is above or higher than words. They come in understandings that skip the necessity of words. You simply know what they're communicating. However, they also do communicate in words that come to your mind. The sound vibrations that come into our ears when we hear someone speaking on the Earth plane are not meaningful when they come into the ear. They're just vibrations. They don't take on meaning until they come to the mind. There, the vibrations are converted into words. When someone on the next plane of life communicates with you, at times you may "hear" their words. What you're doing is having the experience of the words without the vibrations coming into the ear. The words are just as real as if they had come from someone on the Earth plane through your ear. The experience is the same, but it happens mind to mind.

A second reason they don’t communicate with you often or at all is that they’re not as worried about you as you are about them, unless you're grieving and unhappy. They now know the truth that you and they are eternal beings. You’ll live your life and transition into the next plane of life where you’ll reunite, but in the meantime, they know you need to continue to learn lessons and they know they can do very little to help you with your struggles; you have to work them out yourself. They’re happy and they know you’re fine as well. They'll be happiest if you'll be happy.

The sense of presence is a real, valid sense

You will get a sense of their presence. That's like the sense of being stared at. You'll just feel like she's beside you or that he's in the room. That's a real sense, as real as seeing or hearing. Accept it and know it's a true sense. Stop and say hello. Tell the person how you're feeling, and how happy you are that they're with you. Then you can go on, or you can stop and have a brief dialogue.

Often, people describe feeling more of the sense of presence of someone in the first weeks or months after the passing, but then have less of a sense of their presence after that. The person likely has gone on to the next level of their spiritual development, leaving the Earth plane vibration. That has been called the "second death" when they release themselves from the Earth plane. However, after they have gone on to the next planes of their lives, they are still available to communicate. They are only a thought away. When you think of your loved one, they receive the thought, wherever they are, and send warm thoughts to you, although they may not come back to the Earth plane at that moment. If you are having a problem, are depressed, are ill, or otherwise in distress, they will return to the Earth plane to be with you at that time. They also will just come to the Earth plane to look in on you. They will more often do that if you have regular times when you communicate with them and you keep up the active communication.

What they can do and do regularly is to send warm feelings your way to let you know you're loved and they're present. And you will receive assistance from them in taking care of yourself and learning your life lessons. You may have a sudden insight or a feeling of calm and peace in the midst of worrying. Someone on the Earth plane may contact you unexpectedly with a message you need to hear, or you may chance upon some information in a book or on television that helps you through a crisis. Any of these insights may have been brought to you by that person in the afterlife you wish you could hear from.

One person came to the realization that the periods of spontaneous grief weren't just random moments of sadness: "I realized I was not missing her; I was FEELING her." The sense of presence may result in moments of grief because of the sudden memories. These should be moments of joy because they're filled with love and presence. Those moments of spontaneous grief you feel likely are from your sense of presence you don't realize. In those moments, instead of grieving, enjoy the presence, warmth, and love. It's the signal your loved one has come close by.

They send thoughts about what you need to do, watch out for, or take advantage of. That intuitive feeling you really should call Aunt Mary very possibly is coming from them. That is also a real, valid sense. So they do what they can to help, but as you go on with your life, they do not watch you every moment. They're busy with their own eternal lives, learning about life and eternity. They have their own occupations and preoccupations, often what they wished they could have done on the Earth plane but couldn’t. They haven’t forgotten you, but just as you have to go to work or have activities each day and leave your family members to whatever they’re doing, those who are on the next plane of life aren’t preoccupied with hovering around you. They’re busy, and they know you have your life to live.

They come when you need them or talk with them

They will return to be with you when you think of them. They don’t observe birthdays and anniversaries because there is no time as we know it in the afterlife. However, when you think of them and they know the family is coming together, they often stand among you. They’re with you, but you can’t see them. Your thoughts come to them in the afterlife and they respond by going to be with you on special occasions.

Just know that they are happier than they’ve ever been; they are always within thought range of you; and they know you’re just separated from them for a short time. They’re fine.

If your loved one was an infant or a child, that little one will be with your loved ones who have gone before. They will continue to rear your child in love, and you will be reunited when you transition to the other side. Mediums describe even unborn infants whose growth has been terminated, as early as 14 weeks into the pregnancy, who are growing up on the next plane of life, waiting for their reunion with those who love them. They are available to communicate in the meantime.

Pets also are kept by family members until the owners transition over, at which time, the pet returns to the owner without question.

Your loved ones are available to communicate with you.

Your loved ones are likely not earthbound, meaning they're not still on the Earth vibration. Earthbound people are still on the Earth vibration, not using a body, and are walking around, visiting places, staying with people, riding in cars with people, and otherwise on the Earth plane, just not seen. That is often true during the period right after they have transitioned out of the body, and may be true for an extended time if they are worried about someone on the Earth plane who is grieving, have unfinished business they are concerned about finishing, or have a desire to continue enjoying some pastime they enjoyed while using a body and want to now have the experiences vicariously by influencing someone on the Earth plane to engage in them.

It's important for you to know that your loved one is available to communicate. They may not be around you as much on the Earth plane now, but wherever they are, your loved one will come to you when you want to communicate. They don't ignore you or feel anything negative about you. If you're not getting a connection, it isn't because they've found someone else they like better or they're miffed at you or anything else that results in a separation. It's just that connecting is as difficult for them as it is for you. You just have to keep up the dialogue. Don't stop because you aren't getting the response you want or you feel they may not have come to you when you wanted to communicate. They will come to you and will work at communicating. We just have to work out some methods that will enable you to get the communication and respond.

Will I hold them back by connecting?

We've been asked often whether connecting with our loved ones often will hold them back from going on to the next levels of life. Absolutely not! Here's why.

  1. They have an eternity to grow. This idea that they have to get on with their progress is a peculiarly modern idea that comes out of our goal-driven, fast-paced lives. There’s no hurry.
  2. Many people on the next plane of life spend the years their loved one is still on this side of life staying close by and taking care of them, giving them guidance. I’m not suggesting everyone's loved one does that. I’m just saying that staying close by is perfectly normal.
  3. We have records through mediums of people saying that helping people on the Earth plane is part of their spiritual growth. They grow by being compassionate, understanding people's struggles, and helping.
  4. Our loved ones can go on to the next planes of life and still return to communicate at any time. They're only a thought away. They get our thoughts and feelings wherever we are, and will come when we want to talk, when we're disturbed, or when something exciting is happening in our lives. They'll often look in on us even after they go on to other planes. So they'll go on with their lives, moving to other planes, but still be available to communicate.

So don't worry about continuing to connect with them. Speaking from their new planes of life, many people tell us that the greatest burden they carry is that the people on this side of life don't communicate. They want us to know they're happy and alive. They want the connection. The problem in our spiritually backward society today is that people on our plane don't think they can communicate, and worse yet don't think their loved ones are still alive, and so they ignore them. They soon give up and just go on.

Your loved one is still very much a part of your life. You have a new relationship. Keep communicating.

This is what one experiencer wrote that her loved one said to her during her Self-guided Afterlife Connection:

Tom tells me every Soul wants to connect. Some have no one that validates how they tried to connect. Eventually those may stop trying. Then those like Tom who knew I would never not notice send a sign. The person on this side of life acknowledges the sign, so the person in spirit does something else. Tom says that the more those in spirit do, the more we on the Earth plane see, and they do more because we validated the connection. And so on and so on.
The communication becomes easier and more frequent as we establish the new relationship by communicating.

 
Religious beliefs, earthbounds, and negative entities

This explanation won't go into detail about religious beliefs, earthbounds, and negative entities, but I provide links that will help if you are concerned about these issues.

Religious beliefs

For anyone concerned about communicating with those who have passed away, you must know that the Old Testament injunctions against mediums and speaking with the people who have passed referred to the religions that were popular at the time that were based on seeking advice about how to live using mediums. Besides, these connections don't involve mediums at all. People connect themselves.

At the same time, the New Testament contains nothing about not connecting with loved ones. In fact, there is ample evidence of the connections the Early Christians were making. For more, click on this link: More . . .

Earthbounds and negative entities

To read more about earthbounds and negative entities, click here: More . . .

There are "earthbounds" and negative entities. However, you don't need to worry about whether it is the person you want to connect with coming through. The connections in Guided Afterlife Connections, Self-guided Afterlife Connections, and medium readings have always been with the actual person now living on the next plane of life. The messages are always personal, contain information an earthbound couldn't know, and positive. Connecting with a loved one on the next plane of life doesn't open someone to negative entities.

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